Yep, you heard it first here folks! SHITBEARS are infesting the woods, they can smell the menstruation. I watched this movie the other night called “The Prophecy” it was made in 1979…oh mother fucker shit cunt. It was awful. It started out pretty good and just went to shit once we found mercury was in the water, big, stupid tadpoles, SHITBEARS. OoOoOoO, a big salmon. This Bitch stars in this train wreck of shit, she’s still fucking idiots, this time she’s knocked up and eats the mercury also. She keeps it from him and that’s the twist at the end. She’s harboring a freak of nature SHITBABY. YAYYY! I just hate wasting my time, I was even stoned. Maybe I’m being too harsh and should’ve found it funny. Maybe i should rewatch. Wait, No! Bad Idea! But you know me, watch it yourself form your own shit conclusions of this shitfest. Okay, im excited, tired, and hung the fuck over. Let me break down the movie for you and save you an hour and a half…hell, i didnt finish the damn thing, i don’t even know if she had the SHITBABY, I DONT EVEN CARE IF SHE HAD THE SHITBABY! Anyway. here goes nothing.
-Talia shire is pregnant and plays cello alot.
-Her boyfriend doesnt know she’s pregnant, he’s some environmental investigator.
-They travel to the woods and encounter unwanted indians.
-They drink and eat things from the water and the woods.
They start seeing big animals.
The indians think its magic water.
They find out a paper company is pumping mercury in the water.
They find more large SHIT animals, you know like SHITBEARS.
She reveals to her BF that she is in fact PREGNANT with a SHITBABY.
Ughhhh I get bored and turn it off.
Sorry, I feel like I’m wasting your time because I’m reviewing a stupid fucking movie that i didn’t even finish. Oh well, Your problem not mine. Dont see this piece of hairy shit. Get off your computers and phones and go see this movie instead. It fucking rules. Maybe I should have seen it younger and not high, or higher. I don’t know, I’m in a bad mood today and my brain feels fucking crazy. Enough maybes, here’s the trailer.
Listening To: Eels “Novacaine For The Soul”, Nation Of Ulysses “Today I Met The Girl I’m Gonna Marry”, David Bowie “Let’s Dance”, Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”, Bloc Party “Helicopter”, The Living End “Second Solution”, Van Morrisson “Brown Eyed Girl”, Frank Sinatra “Witchcraft”, Bouncing Souls “Kate Is Great”, Beastie Boys “Shake Your Rump”